December 2011
5 posts
Sorry for being a dick
Brief hiatus while I figure out how to incorporate more of Kevin Arnold’s dickdom into my life. Thank you for your patience! You guys are the opposite of dicks.
“It was irresponsible. Thirteen is a busy age. Who has time to read the papers?”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 16, “Whose Woods Are These?”)
November 2011
72 posts
“Wait a minute. This hippopotamus was kicking us out of our own woods?”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 16, “Whose Woods Are These?”)
travisfowler asked: So, I'm about a season and a half ahead of the blog and the dick doesn't get any better. In fact, he probably gets worse with age. On a side note though, has it ever been brought up that Jack Arnold probably comes home every night and beats the shit out of Norma?
“I like you, and I think you’re really nice, but—so, we can talk to each...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick, to Margaret Farquhar (Season 2, Episode 15, “Square Dance”)
Season 2, Episode 15, "Square Dance"
Kevin: First thing tomorrow I'm gonna dump her.
Norma: Kevin, that's not very nice. You wouldn't really do that, would you?
Kevin: Well...
Norma: Just because she's different doesn't mean you can't be nice to her.
Kevin: Look, she's just not popular, OK?
Anonymous asked: Kevin Arnold = my hero. Proud to be a dick loving dick.
“My God. My mother was spilling her own blood making my dinner, and all I was...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 14, “Brightwing”)
“In a funny way, when I look back on it, I sort of feel like it was MY Bar...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 13, “Birthday Boy”)
“I’m not gonna be going to his stupid Bar Mitzvah … It’s on the...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick, to Jack (Season 2, Episode 13, “Birthday Boy”)
“Well, Paul, I can’t help it if you’re having your stupid Bar Mitzvah...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 13, “Birthday Boy”)
Season 2, Episode 13, "Birthday Boy"
Norma: Well, what are we gonna do about your birthday?
Kevin: I dunno.
Norma: Well, it has to be something good! You're turning 13. It's a big one!
Kevin: I guess.
Norma: Just not the same without Paul, huh?
Kevin [voiceover]: Either that or it's just not the same without 100 presents and a live band.
“It’s not that I was jealous of Paul. It’s not that I was feeling...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 13, “Birthday Boy”)
Season 2, Episode 12, "Fate"
Winnie: Don't try to fool me, Kevin. You've changed. You talk behind people's backs. You're just not a nice person. Now leave me alone.
Kevin [voiceover]: Wait a minute. Not a nice person? Not a nice person?!
Kevin: I am too a nice person!
“I guess that’s when it hit me. Winnie wasn’t going to forgive me for...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 11, “Nemesis”)
Season 2, Episode 11, "Nemesis"
Kevin: I said some stuff about some people at school. And then, they all found out what I said, and now everyone hates me.
Norma: Well, honey, it can't be that bad.
Kevin: It is.
Norma: What'd you say?
Kevin: Well... I said that Bobby Jensen walks like a duck.
Norma: Well, come on. That's not so terrible.
Kevin: And that Paul dances like a Sea-Monkey.
Norma: You said that?
Kevin: And Winnie walks around like she forgot to take the hanger out of her shirt.
Norma: That's not nice.
Season 2, Episode 11, "Nemesis"
Kevin: Imitate me! Make fun of me!
Paul: Who wants to imitate you?
Kevin: All right, fine, I'll imitate myself. Here...
Paul: Well?
Kevin: Well, it's hard. I can't really think of anything I do stupid.
“Haven’t you ever said something mean about somebody just to be funny?”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 11, “Nemesis”)
Anonymous asked: How have you gone this long without making the obvious Photoshop-of-Kevin-Arnold-as-a-penis joke?
“It was a magnificent stroke of luck! Winnie was sick for a week!”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 11, “Nemesis”)
“[Winnie’s] like the ultimate Miss Priss. She walks up to you like this,...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 11, “Nemesis”)
Anonymous asked: While I agree that Kevin is a dick, his impressions seem to making me genuinely laugh.
electricpencils asked: I just finished the episode where Kevin's mom does pottery. Clearly, he inherited his dickishness from his father.
“[Carla’s] dancing like one of her feet has fallen asleep, but she...”
– Kevin Arnold, dick (Season 2, Episode 11, “Nemesis”)
la-louve asked: Yeah, you suck. Well, it's 3x21 "Goodbye" when Mr. Collins tutors Kevin for an "A" in Math, then has to stop midway through because of heart troubles. Kevin, instead of taking the exam like a decent human being, writes "factor this!" on his answers. Mr. Collins dies two days later.
Season 2, Episode 10, "Walk Out"
Mr. DiPerna: Did you learn something?
Kevin [interior monologue]: Yeah, I learned you were an even bigger butthead than I thought you were.
Kevin: I guess so.